Being Present

by Nicole Tardio, IWM serving in Mongu, Zambia

After a month into my time here in Zambia I have sensed a recurring theme that surfaces in multiple aspects of my life. Even going back to the time I was preparing to come to Zambia in orientation in San Antonio, I was given all sorts of valuable advice from some very wise people. All in all our conversations focused on being present to people - not getting too busy doing things that you forget the real reason for being where you are: to be with people, to learn from them, and to give and receive God’s love. I was reminded to take my time, be patient, and enjoy each moment no matter how simple it may be. Celebrate each day, each new person met, and each new word learned. So as I make the transition into Zambian life, I have been reminded several times about my main focus.

One evening in church the reading was the story of Mary and Martha and Jesus’ visit to them. This reading spoke to me in a special way because I can relate to both Mary and Martha. As I settle in here I am busy getting things accomplished: I have lists of who I need to contact, who I need to make an appointment with, and which sites are on the list of places to visit for the day. All these are very necessary tasks but I am reminded and inspired by Mary to make each visit, each phone call, and each encounter a true connection with the person I am meeting or talking with. It is easy to go through the day without truly seeing and hearing the people we encounter. I believe I am called to listen like Mary did, to make each person feel like they are special because Jesus is present in everyone I meet.

I am currently reading a book that talks about seeing God in all, even in the tough situations we encounter. One chapter focused on seeing things from God’s perspective and not focusing on our own perspective. How often our main concern is doing “stuff” for others and for God. How we often get caught up in our own performance. On the contrary, God’s will is for us to focus on just being; He is more interested in the person that we are becoming than the specific things we are doing. This is very comforting as I struggle to find my place here in Mongu in different organizations and programs that are already established. Like any new place we move to, it is a challenge to integrate into a community. I am slowly integrating myself, and what I have found so far is that people aren’t necessarily interested that I am nurse or that I came and that I will be working in various sites. They are more interested in meeting me and each day I make more connections with people by just being here. How ironic! :)

This is a daily challenge - a very welcome challenge - to be present in the places where I am working, to be present at home with my community, during prayer and at mass. One day last week at the end of the day I sat down to eat dinner and watch an hour of TV before bed. Well right in the middle of the show the power went out, and at first I was a little frustrated as I sat in the dark, but Sr. Cristi came to the rescue with a lantern. So Sr. Clara, Sr. Cristi, (my community

members) and I sat there staring at each other at first. Then someone had the idea to put a fan together that we had bought that day. The assembly began and though it started out a little rocky it started coming together quickly. With all three of us working at it in no time it was standing upright with the cage and blade intact. With no power to test it our laughs continued at the table with a candle-lit dinner. My annoyance with the situation of no power quickly dissipated and all of a sudden I was thankful for this community time.

I realized sometimes I am in the presence of people without being present to them. It took God’s little nudge of eliminating distractions to appreciate the people around me in that moment, and for that I was extremely thankful.

So presence to me is “being,” actively being: body, mind, and heart all involved. Presence is listening and participating with others. It is a call to know and comfort others. It is not passive but active. It is a smile, a compliment, encouragement, and free from all judgement.

I believe Jesus is our best role model for most everything but especially for being present! :)